Month: November 2024

Every Darkening Duck Entrance Metaphor

Grunk The Duck

I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3am…

I am the fingernail that scrapes the blackboard of your soul…

I am a special news bulletin that interrupts your favorite show…

I am… obviously out of my trademark blue smoke.

I am the termite that devours your floorboards…

I am the surprise in your cereal box…

I am the headache in the criminal mind…

I am the raspberry seed you can’t floss out…

I am the onion that stings in your eye…

I am the scourge that pecks at your nightmares…

I am the hairball that clogs your drains…

I am the low ratings that cancel your program…

I am the auditor that wants to look at your books…

I am the slug that slimes your begonias…

I am the bubble gum that sticks in your hair…

I am the itch you cannot reach…

I am the smoke that smokes smoked oysters…

I am the jailer who throws away the key…

I am the ten dollar service charge on all returned checks…

I am the sandtrap on the fairway of evil…

I am the sourball in the candyjar of goodness…

I am the grade curve that gives you an F…

I am the fast food that comes back to haunt you…

I am the neurosis that requires a $500 an hour shrink…

I am the wierdo that sits next to you on the bus…

I am the bug that splatters on your windshield…

I am the spider who naps at your neck…

I am the combination lock on the vaults of justice…

I am the icky bug that crawls up your trouser leg…

I am the pin that will burst your bubble…

I am the bubble gum that clings to your shoe…

I am the repairman who tells you your warranty has run out…

I am the cat that lays kittens in your bed…

I am the switch that derails your train…

I am the paper cut that ruins your morning…

I am… feeling really stupid. Boy, I hate it when I’m early. You’d think criminal masterminds would be more punctual.

I am the weed whacker in the garden of evil…

I am the moth that seeks your porchlight…

I am the lollipop that sticks in your hair…

I am the rhinestone on the jumpsuit of justice…

I am the flea you cannot flick…

I am the stain that CAN’T be rubbed out…

I am the peanut butter that sticks to the roof of your mouth…

I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries…

I am the single career man all women want to date…

I am the check writer in the Cash Only line…

I am the zit that forms when you’ve got a really big date…

I am the secret center of a cherry candy-pop…

I am the electrician who short-circuits the power lines of crime…

I am the parking meter that expires while you shop…

I am the pit bull that bites the ankle of crime…

I am the shnowzer that digs up your petunias…

I am the soapscum that limes your bathtub…

I am the hair ball that clogs your drain…

I am the shopping cart that mixes your paint job…

I am the eraser that rubs out the typos of crime…

I am the terrier that nips at your shoelaces…

I am the blown fuse that blacks you out…

I am the butter that burns in your pan…

I am the itch in your trigger finger…

I am the cold sore that stings your lip…

I am the hair in the lens of your projector…

I am the badly photoshopped Michael Cera you see every day…

I am the scourge that… pecks at your… well your nightmares…

I am the pustulent blister that bursts in your boot…

I am the metal key on the sardine can of justice…

I am the widget missing from the easy-to-assemble swingset…

I am the editor that cuts your scene… I am the burnt-out bulb you cannot reach…

I am the spinach that sticks to your teeth…

I am the cat that somebody let out of the bag…

I am the cotton swab that gets stuck in your ear…

I am the plot twist in the second reel…

I am the flea on your parrot…

I am the heimlich maneuver for the choking victims of crime…

I am the ghost of a chance that you don’t have…

I am the muddy shoes that track the linoleum of crime… I am the yo-yo that keeps coming back…

I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime…

I am the top root that clogs your pipes…

I am the editor that leaves you on the cutting room floor…

I am the check that overdraws your account…

I am the low point on your signwave…

I am the limestone that petrifies your bones…

I am the awkward goodbye that lasts for far too long…

I am the upvote you withhold to be a petulant dick…

I am Darkwing Duck!!!

Boromir- Plight to Failure, or A Tale of Redemption

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Boromir, the son of Denethor II and the Steward of Gondor, faced a profound crisis of identity and purpose. As the last hope for his people, he was deeply troubled by Gondor’s impending doom and his father’s failure to lead. The weight of responsibility to save his homeland and its people crushed him, leading to a sense of desperation and despair.

Why Boromir Failed

Boromir’s failure stemmed from his inability to reconcile his duty to protect the Ring Bearer with his own desires and motivations. He became obsessed with the idea that the One Ring held the key to saving Gondor, and his sense of duty to his people clouded his judgment. This led him to attempt to take the Ring by force, betraying his vow to protect Frodo and ultimately resulting in his own downfall.

Key Factors Contributing to Boromir’s Failure

  1. Vainglory: Boromir’s desire for recognition and admiration from his people, as well as his own sense of self-importance, drove him to prioritize his own ambitions over his duties as a member of the Fellowship.
  2. Desperation: The dire circumstances facing Gondor and his father’s perceived weakness as Steward led Boromir to feel overwhelmed and desperate, causing him to grasp at any solution, including the Ring.
  3. Lack of Faith: Boromir’s reliance on human efforts and his own strength, rather than trusting in the greater plan of the Valar, led him to underestimate the power of the Ring and the true nature of his quest.
  4. Inadequate Guidance: Boromir’s upbringing and education, while noble and well-intentioned, may not have provided him with the wisdom and spiritual guidance necessary to navigate the complexities of his situation.

Redemption

Despite his failure, Boromir’s bravery and repentance in his final moments earned him a measure of redemption. His sacrifice and loyalty to his companions, even in the face of his own flaws and mistakes, serve as a testament to the enduring power of noble character and the possibility of redemption in the face of failure.

“One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust; the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly.”

Boromir to Elrond’s council. A testament to the wisdom of Boromir’s education.

[Frodo wanders in the woods. Boromir comes up behind him, gathering wood]

Boromir : None of us should wander alone, you least of all. Frodo? I know you suffer, I see it day by day. Are you sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo, other paths we might take.

Frodo : I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart.

Boromir : Warning? Against what? We are all afraid, Frodo. But to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have… don’t you see? That is madness!

Frodo : There is no other way.

Boromir : I ask only for the strength to defend my people!

[approaches Frodo]

Boromir : If you would but lend me the Ring…

Frodo : [backs away] No!

Boromir : Why do you recoil? I am no thief.

Frodo : You are not yourself.

Boromir : What chance do you think you have? They will find you. They will take the Ring. And you will beg for death before the end!

Aragorn- A Terrible, Dark Lord

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Q: “Why did Legolas and Gimli elude to the fact that Aragorn may have become a terrible lord had he gotten the ring in the Return of the King? Because isn’t he still just a mortal man?”

A: Being immortal or mortal is a detail of little value in itself to decide the power of individuals. Aragorn was more powerful than most Elves; that doesn’t mean much.”

Of course, being immortal or indefinitely long-lived is essential to achieving experience and memory, and if wise of enough wisdom, But in terms of power, not much, for the Tolkien universe follows a reverse scaling; everything is more powerful in the past.

In Aragorn’s case, he was not just a physically powerful Man; he also had great strength of will (and possibly of character as well).

The weakness of the one Ring, besides the possibility of its destruction (but that would have the same effect on Sauron), was that if someone was heroic and powerful enough, that person could challenge Sauron. Of course, challenging the Dark Lord doesn’t necessarily mean fighting the Dark Lord personally using the ring, which even the High Elves could not do. Gandalf could, but the outcome would still be uncertain.

However, the Ring conferred power over minds — the chief reason for its making. If someone used the Ring for this purpose, and Aragorn was strong enough in body and mind to do so, he could I) Build arms and engines of war and possibly II) Control Sauron’s servants and works and use them to usurp his place or even throw him down.

This would be the strategy of the High Elves, the same one Sauron adopted himself.

In any case, Elrond or Galadriel would have proceeded in the policy now adopted by Sauron: they would have built up an empire with great and subservient generals and armies and engines of war until they could challenge Sauron and destroy him by force.

Using the ring for this purpose required more than power; it also needed charisma and oratory skills, the art of influencing people, and the Ring empowered any natural skill to the point where it became magic.

Aragorn was already a commanding figure, so Legolas and Gimli figured he would be a terrible Dark Lord. He was able to command the Army of the Dead without the One Ring, with the power of his figure and the help of the Oath.

In the uplands of Lamedon, they overtook our horses and swept around us. They would have passed us by if Aragorn had not forbidden them. ‘At his command, they fell back. “Even the shades of Men are obedient to his will,” I thought. “They may serve his needs yet!”

That was great willpower, and with the Ring, Aragorn would be an immensely more persuasive and terrifying commanding figure. And if mortality is an issue no more, as the Ring technically guarantees “immortality” in addition to increasing Aragorn’s powers so that he would have become a kind of wraith-lord — exceedingly scary and possibly more terrifying then the Witch King of Angmar, see Frodo near Sammath Naur as a small example than Aragorn would have become.

“Strange indeed,” said Legolas. “In that hour, I looked on Aragorn and thought how great and terrible a Lord he might have become in the strength of his will had he taken the Ring to himself. Not for naught does Mordor fear him. But nobler is his spirit than the understanding of Sauron, for is he not of the children of Lúthien? Never shall that line fail, though the years may lengthen beyond count.”