{"id":725,"date":"2014-10-11T21:39:14","date_gmt":"2014-10-11T21:39:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/?p=725"},"modified":"2026-06-24T05:47:23","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T05:47:23","slug":"the-new-testament","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/?p=725","title":{"rendered":"The New Testament"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href='http:\/\/blog.collegehumor.com\/post\/99741519021\/the-new-testament'>The New Testament<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"link_description\">\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.collegehumor.com\/post\/99741519021\/the-new-testament\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">collegehumor<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strong>God:<\/strong> Hey Jews.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jews:<\/strong> Hey.<\/p>\n<p><strong>God:<\/strong> So listen, guys, I\u2019m thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jews:<\/strong> What?<\/p>\n<p><strong>God:<\/strong> You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jews:<\/strong> We don\u2019t follow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>God:<\/strong> Okay, work with me here, guys&hellip;.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The New Testament collegehumor: God: Hey Jews. Jews: Hey. God: So listen, guys, I\u2019m thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion. Jews: What? God: You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing. Jews: We don\u2019t follow. God: Okay, work with me here, guys&hellip;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"link","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[164,162,165,163],"class_list":["post-725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-link","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-christianity","tag-cracked","tag-cracked-humor","tag-judaism","post_format-post-format-link"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=725"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2342,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725\/revisions\/2342"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}