{"id":2536,"date":"2024-11-21T16:55:31","date_gmt":"2024-11-21T16:55:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/?p=2536"},"modified":"2026-06-24T05:45:03","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T05:45:03","slug":"every-darkening-duck-entrence-metaphor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/?p=2536","title":{"rendered":"Every Darkening Duck Entrance Metaphor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3am… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the fingernail that scrapes the blackboard of your soul… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am a special news bulletin that interrupts your favorite show… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am… obviously out of my trademark blue smoke. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the termite that devours your floorboards… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the surprise in your cereal box… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the headache in the criminal mind… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the raspberry seed you can’t floss out… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the onion that stings in your eye… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the scourge that pecks at your nightmares… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the hairball that clogs your drains… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the low ratings that cancel your program… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the auditor that wants to look at your books… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the slug that slimes your begonias… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the bubble gum that sticks in your hair… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the itch you cannot reach… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the smoke that smokes smoked oysters… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the jailer who throws away the key… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the ten dollar service charge on all returned checks… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the sandtrap on the fairway of evil… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the sourball in the candyjar of goodness… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the grade curve that gives you an F… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the fast food that comes back to haunt you… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the neurosis that requires a $500 an hour shrink… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the wierdo that sits next to you on the bus… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the bug that splatters on your windshield… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the spider who naps at your neck… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the combination lock on the vaults of justice… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the icky bug that crawls up your trouser leg… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the pin that will burst your bubble… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the bubble gum that clings to your shoe… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the repairman who tells you your warranty has run out… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the cat that lays kittens in your bed… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the switch that derails your train… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the paper cut that ruins your morning… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am… feeling really stupid. Boy, I hate it when I’m early. You’d think criminal masterminds would be more punctual. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the weed whacker in the garden of evil… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the moth that seeks your porchlight… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the lollipop that sticks in your hair… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the rhinestone on the jumpsuit of justice… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the flea you cannot flick… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the stain that CAN’T be rubbed out… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the peanut butter that sticks to the roof of your mouth… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the single career man all women want to date… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the check writer in the Cash Only line… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the zit that forms when you’ve got a really big date… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the secret center of a cherry candy-pop… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the electrician who short-circuits the power lines of crime… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the parking meter that expires while you shop… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the pit bull that bites the ankle of crime… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the shnowzer that digs up your petunias… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the soapscum that limes your bathtub… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the hair ball that clogs your drain… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the shopping cart that mixes your paint job… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the eraser that rubs out the typos of crime… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the terrier that nips at your shoelaces… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the blown fuse that blacks you out… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the butter that burns in your pan… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the itch in your trigger finger… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the cold sore that stings your lip… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the hair in the lens of your projector… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the badly photoshopped Michael Cera you see every day… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the scourge that… pecks at your… well your nightmares… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the pustulent blister that bursts in your boot… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the metal key on the sardine can of justice… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the widget missing from the easy-to-assemble swingset… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the editor that cuts your scene… I am the burnt-out bulb you cannot reach… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the spinach that sticks to your teeth… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the cat that somebody let out of the bag… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the cotton swab that gets stuck in your ear… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the plot twist in the second reel… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the flea on your parrot… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the heimlich maneuver for the choking victims of crime… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the ghost of a chance that you don’t have… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the muddy shoes that track the linoleum of crime… I am the yo-yo that keeps coming back… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the top root that clogs your pipes… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the editor that leaves you on the cutting room floor… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the check that overdraws your account… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the low point on your signwave… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the limestone that petrifies your bones… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the awkward goodbye that lasts for far too long… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the upvote you withhold to be a petulant dick… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am Darkwing Duck!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3am… I am the fingernail that scrapes the blackboard of your soul… I am a special news bulletin that interrupts your favorite show… I am… obviously out of my trademark blue smoke. I am the termite that devours your floorboards… I am the surprise in your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2535,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[813],"tags":[814],"class_list":["post-2536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dark-wing-duck","tag-dark-wing-duck"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2536"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2536\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2579,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2536\/revisions\/2579"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2535"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.grunk.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}